The going ons within the middle of the week

I learned quite the valuable lesson Sunday night. Never allow your best friend to bowl when she is completely plastered. The ball may go against the near by wall instead of the lane itself. Since when do bowling alleys have bars? Have they always? Was it not enough that Rashelle drank at that party in West Hollywood a couple hours earlier? Why did we have to go bowling? Oh, yes. Now I remember. She knew her ex- girlfriend would be there. She wanted to prove to her that she was having a good time on her own. Naturally her ex-girlfriend wasn’t there. We did see some people we know. What was there left to do? I suppose drink, go bowling, and smoke a few cigarettes. I had my red bull, of course.

I simply adore Rashelle above anyone else. I truly do. There is not another soul I’ve come into contact with who understands my dramatic antics so well. It also doesn’t hurt that, like me, she always is up to date with exactly what is going on. Seeing as I was gone for five days, I was most appreciative of this factor. Who wouldn’t be?

Jennifer used to be someone I was very close to. She was almost like a sister to me. I noticed that every time she got into a new relationship she just got a little bit crazier, if you know what I mean. After awhile she just got a little bit too crazy and clingy for my liking. I had to dispose of her before it became a direct reflection upon me. I knew the moment Jennifer and Star hooked up it was going to be the biggest disaster of all. Of course I was right. This relationship turned out to be far more destructive than any of her past ones. Who starts planning their wedding after being together for two weeks? I know. Then there was the fact that Jennifer was only allowed to talk to me at certain times during the day. These were Star’s instructions. I was not going to be put under restrictions. And apparently, neither was anyone else in Jennifer’s life. After awhile Jennifer had no one except her relationship with Star.

It didn’t last forever as Jennifer had hoped it would. Then again, she always believes every relationship is going to. Star went on a cruise of sorts. When she returned she learned that Jennifer had betrayed her. She had slept with someone else. And, apparently, Jennifer is with this other girl now. From what has been told to me this other girl makes Star look like a super model. I must see this girl first hand. I find it rather difficult to believe that anyone could make Star look that way. But, if my information is correct, then what the hell was Jennifer thinking? All I can tell you is that Rashelle better keep me informed…

I’ve continued to keep a low profile lately. But, Jeff calls my insistently wanting to see me. I’m not interested. I don’t understand how I ever could have been. But, seeing as he’s my ex, that’s insinuates that at one time we were dating. He wants to see me this weekend. Too bad. I already have other plans. He’ll live. Or maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll fall down and die. You never know…

Joey called me this week. Three times to be precise. Two out of the three times I chose not to answer his call. The third time I answered on the last ring and made a quick excuse not to talk to him. Talking to him for those few moments took me back to the days when things were very different between us.

At first when things were over I missed him. I missed being around him anytime I wanted. I missed our late night coffee chats. Something about him made me feel safe from the get go. I missed being able to depend on him. I missed so much about him that I probably could have written pages about it. Then I stopped missing him because he no longer missed me.

I remember that night. I laid awake until dawn wondering why things had changed so drastically. Then I realized that it didn't really matter. They had changed and he had let me go. Nothing in the world would be able to alter this particular factor. It was over with. We couldn't fix what had been broken over time.

When Alyssa came into the picture I had one last chance to save whatever was left and I chose not to. He wanted to see me. I remember him saying how he missed me. I made up an excuse, immediately dismissing him. I wasn’t going to hang on to him any longer, not when somebody else wanted him. And unbenounced to him at that point he wanted her as well. I wasn’t about to made a fool of. Not this time. Not again. Now I realize I don’t want things to be the way they were. We live separate lives that always collide with each other. They don’t have to intertwine, though. I believe that that is just fine by me. He can live his life while I live mine. It could never have worked out. In the words, of my friend Samantha, he will never maintain the same level of fabulous that I do…