I place expectations on everyone. I expect people to behave a certain way or to be a certain thing for me. And they never turn out to be how I either percieved them or at least wanted them to be. It's truly my downfall. But, when all is said and done I just want people to love me and not dissapoint me so terribly. They always do.
I always end up loving all the wrong people and for all the wrong reasons. I give them everything I have until there's nothing left. I wish I was different in so many aspects of my personality. But, I'm not. I truly am a all or nothing type of girl. Either I love you or I don't. With me there is no middle ground. There needs to be but I simply can't seem to find it. I hate to say this, but it's tearing me up from the inside out.
Maybe my problem is I look for self acceptance in other people, and not from myself. Someone I loved more than anyone else once told me "Hang on tight, babygirl, this thing called life is a ride. You don't have to like it. The only requirement is that you live it..." All I can say at this point is that in the past nineteen and a half years I've done just that...
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