My enemy's smile

My vacation was fabulous. I had a marvelous time. I may even move there one day. We shall see, won't we? Time can only tell. I flew home on Friday evening. I could have stayed a couple of more days and remained content. You will find this to be most unusual, but for the moment I am keeping a low profile... I've only been home for about two days. Not too much has happened. Well, to be completely honest...

The Friday before the Sunday I left for my trip I came into contact with Alyssa and Joey. I profusely thanked him for the directions he gave me. I told him I did not know what I would have done without him and so on. I believe you get the picture. I proceeded on to give him a hug as well as a kiss on the cheek. He must have been quite confused seeing as that night before I dismissed him completely. If he was confused in any form he covered it up well by declaring that I could always depend on him. Did I mention Alyssa was there when this entire exchange was going on? She did not look so happy with me. Do you think that bothered me? Of course not. I was completely delighted with this turn of events...

I chose to be so catty for one reason only. I wanted her to know her place. I CHOSE to step aside and allow her to be in the spotlight. If she isn't careful I can take it away. She won't tell Joey about all of this because she won't want to look bad in his eyes. She is aware that he considers me one of his friends. Why he does, I'm sure I do not know.

Can you believe that Jessica wants the three of us to vacation together? Oh, my God. Has Jessica absolutely lost her mind? She's on some sort of mission to save Alyssa's soul or something else equally as horrible. I've got to talk to Rachel about this. I don't know if I could survive being on the same trip with her. I do not care where it is...

She plays the girlfriend card as I've explained. I wanted to make it known to her that we are not friends. Do you want to know the most upsetting part in all of this? I'm not completely convinced that the message has been received. I know what she's doing. At this point it doesn't really matter if she knows that.

In any event, I saw her after I got back into town. She was all smiles. I returned her smile with a hint of a smirk. Then I warmly embraced her. I can see that no one has told her to be aware of your enemy's smile. You never know what they are planning next...

The weekend update... unless something devestating happens

It is Friday morning. I do not have much time to give you today. I still have yet to pack. My room is simply a fright. Don’t ask me how it happened once more. Later in the afternoon I am going to lunch with some of my girlfriends. In the early evening I have plans with my family. Friday late night belongs to a certain group of people, unfortunately. So I shall just give you an update on some of the people who we’ve already discussed…

Who knows what is going on with Alyssa? She was probably busy sucking off Joey last night. What other purpose could she possibly serve where he is concerned? I cannot think of one. If you can possibly come up with a plausible one do us all a favor and contact the media at your earliest convience.

I suppose that this would bring us to Joey. I called him last night when I was on the road. I needed directions to a particular location. He seemed somewhat hurt that that was the only reason I was calling. I do not care. Did he expect me to call and tell him all about the going ons in my life? I don’t think so…

Mr. X and his girlfriend, Rhea, are having problems. She suspects that he has not completely been faithful to her. What was the twit’s first clue? Don’t answer that question. I’m not sure that I am quite prepared to know the true level of her stupidity. Lea of course was very unsupportive towards his situation. He was surprised that she was being such a bitch. I could have told him that one…

I haven’t seen Verona since she dumped Allen. I did see Allen last night though. He looked completely devastated, even heartbroken. Perhaps he missed being yelled at and having to baby-sit her children at any given moment?

That is it for now. But, if something devestating happens I will be forced to make time in my busy weekend to tell you all about it...

The Distasteful Drama Queen

I never have quite comprehended how they go about it. Some drama queens just do not know how to carry themselves in a respectful manner. They cause those they are associated with to look down on them as well as their actions. Perhaps it’s because they lack beauty as well as poise. No matter what I do I gain an audience and the women involved, the ones that matter anyway, rally to my cause. Verona, as we will call her, is a distasteful drama queen. Some of the women in my life were talking about her this morning. She has children at such a young age. She has a boyfriend as well as a girlfriend. She has chosen to involve herself with Allen. She has included him in every single one of her affairs. She leaves her children at any given moment with this young man. I for one do not understand how men will put up with the bullshit of a young woman who doesn’t have any prospects. Perhaps, it is because they are so very similar. I do not know.

She has caused quite the uproar from what has been told to me. I think we should all ignore her, pass her by, and continue on with the quality of our lives. Yes, I am quite sure she is a backstabbing silly girl. No one is disputing this particular factor. There are so many these days that it is turning into a trend of sorts. It’s all so nauseating and simply boring, really. They are all quite the same. If you’re going to do something gravely inappropriate or behave in a scandalous manner, at least carry yourself in a way where everybody watching, cannot predict the ending. At least in that manner, people will be forced to admire you. Can we admire this distasteful drama queen? I think not. In this case I believe we may be forced to condemn her actions… If someone admires her I would be forced into considering the source of the admiration…

It could cause Devestation

I am simply terrible. I truly am. You can judge for yourself when I tell you what has happened now. There is a certain guy in my ex best friend’s past. We’ll call him Mr. X and the ex best friend, Lea. Mr. X was basically a man whore, who was a dear friend of mine. In any event, Lea wanted him. She hooked up with him. Before I explain the arising situation I should tell you more about Lea.

Lea was always quite the sex addict. I could see it before she even engaged in the act of sex itself. No one knew about it, of course. She always kept it very hush- hush. But, ofcourse, I knew all about it. What Did I tell you? I know everything. I wonder what her parents would say if they knew the truth about their adoring daughter’s hobbies? Where would I even begin? Where would it all end? Her parents just might die of a heart attack or something equally as awful. My knowledge about her life could blow it to pieces if I put the right information in the wrong hands.

I trusted her more than I have ever trusted another human being. I made her apart of every aspect of my life. What does she do in return? She turns around when I am not looking, and stabs me in the back! I don’t get over a grudge easily, at least not until I have had my revenge. And I will.

Mr. X has always showed a varied degree of interest in me. I could very well use it against him and Lea in one fall swoop. Everyone gets what they want except Lea. This would crush her. It would devastate as well as destroy her. I wonder if her new boyfriend knows what I know… If I go through with both parts of my plan… I don’t know if anything would ever be the same. I haven’t made a final decision yet. We’ll see what I decide…

Goodbye, Goodbye

A dear friend of mine, whom we shall call Sarah, thought it would be perfectly acceptable to go off to New York for about two months. I do not enjoy saying goodbye to people at all. I suppose that it would have been somewhat appropriate if I wasn’t going on a small trip myself. So, today was the last time I am to see her before she leaves. What did I do? I hugged her tightly and wished her a good trip. What is happening to me? I didn’t even cry. I didn’t moan. My body didn’t feel as if it was dissipating. I will miss her with a great sense of desperation though. Oh, I do hope she enjoys New York. Darling, makes sure you go shopping. You will make me so proud if you do that. What on earth do I think I am saying? You always make me proud. Goodbye, my friend. Goodbye. I shall await your return with baited breath…

The Romantic couple of the year

Sometimes I do talk a bit too much. I never quite know when to shut up because I tend to know what is going on with absolutely everyone. That is not my fault. It’s quite a gift, really. I spoke the truth as I saw it. I truly did. I just don’t know if Joey would see it that way or Alyssa.

I found myself wondering what attracts men to her. I believe it’s because she’s low maintenance. She doesn’t require a lot and she doesn’t have much class either. She’s not particularly brilliant. Her teeth, well, we won't even go there. Yet, all of the men in my program seem to pay a lot of attention to her, seem to think that she’s gorgeous, or at least something else equally as rediculess. It’s simply appalling. It truly is. But, most of those men are on General relief or in some sort of half way house. Of course they’d be attracted to white trash. How cruel I’ve been! How could I have possibly been this upset and somewhat angry with them? She’s within reach. She’s a working class girl. Oh Joey and Alyssa’s relationship is truly a Drug Addict’s love story.

Joey is on probation and this girl is doing community service. They met when she was just beginning the process of getting things together. Though, he is somewhat on his feet, it’s still like watching the blind leading the blind. Is this not the stuff romantic novels are based on? I truly hope they could come up with something just a little bit more exciting! They hang out at my program with each other. I’m sure the attraction is there, but I don’t see the fiery spark, the bolt of lighting as my mentor would put it. They’re boring to watch. Their relationship is like watching a slow movie that promises to have a riveting ending. You keep your eyes glued to the screen waiting for the movie to either pick up speed or just end, preferably with a sense of devastation, distraught, pain, and sorrow.

So, I’ve detained you long enough. I might as well as tell you what I was gossiping about. I was talking to a dear friend of mine. We shall call her Jessica. She hates gossiping on any level and I highly respect that about her. That is what makes us such good friends. In any event I brought up a situation that happened at our program last Saturday, in which Alyssa didn’t behave appropriately. In the beginning my thought process was not what it should have been, but I corrected it and took the right action. But, Alyssa carried on and on about the situation at hand. At that point, I saw her true colors. I shared with Jessica what happened and exactly how I viewed Joey’s situation with Alyssa. He doesn’t realize what he has gotten himself into. He really doesn’t. He seems to love dramatic women. Why do you think he used to have feelings for me?

I trust Jessica. I am just somewhat concerned that she will feel the need to rectify this particular situation, to either allow Alyssa to know she’s unhappy about how she chose to carry herself or else, to help her find her path. I think she should just let the silly girl fall flat on her face. No matter what Jessica decides it will happen. I will no longer say anything out loud about it. But when she falls, and she will, I will laugh. She wants to play the girlfriend card; wants to be friendly with us, she can go right ahead. I have absolutely no problem playing a role.

When things end with Joey, and they will, whose side are they going to take? They will take his. They always do. Since he is a good person (A factor I shall not deny), he can do no wrong in their eyes. It will be her fault. And who will she have to lean back on? Perhaps there will be a man, who wants nothing more than to use her. Being used by someone does nothing more than diminish the woman she could have been.

I will silently laugh at all of this. She wants to live her life in the program spotlight. I did it for awhile. I will not take her moment away from her. Who am I to deny her that right? If I really wanted to I think I could knock her off her high horse. But, why waste my time on those people? She’ll learn soon enough. You’ll see…

My Introduction

INTRODUCTION…. He betrayed me…

I am going to tell you exactly what is going on, no lies. I belong to a program of sorts. We’ll just call it that, alright? Fuck it. I’m a drug addict. It really isn’t that shocking. We’re getting off topic here, not that I really got into the topic in the first place. I did on some level, though. I was about to tell you what was really going on. Hold on. I should introduce myself first. I can’t give you my real name. You might know me. And if you don’t have my name you can go on thinking you do, when I could be just like someone you happen to know. Just call me your Dramatic Bullshit Queen.

Alright, so back to what I was originally going to tell you about. I am so tired of this new girl on the scene. She carries herself in a manner that one may find acceptable. She is even quite friendly. Or so she pretends to be. She’s with the guy I thought I once liked. Let me tell you EXACTLY what happened there. It was a classic once upon a time, never going to happen again type of deal. He turned out not to be smart or cool enough for me. Oh, well. At least through him I was able to create a situation worthy of the soaps.

We’re going to call this guy Joey, even though that’s the name of this other loser. Oh, well. I enjoy being catty. It’s in my dramatic and gossiping nature. We’ll call his friend Bob. That’s the name of my old dealer. He was an even bigger loser then the real Joey. Are you guys slightly following here? We’ll call the new girl/new girlfriend Alyssa. I once knew an Alyssa who was more dramatic and tearful then I can be. Oh, what a frightful thought that one is!

So first I met Bob. He was cool, freakin whatever. He had a girlfriend, but I flirted with him a little bit. Joey got dragged along for the ride in the beginning. Then I realized Bob had nothing but good looks, and even then… it was only his face. A lot of stuff happened in between, but I am far too tired to divulge completely. I will later, darlings. I promise. Though Joey wasn’t the cutest he had potential or at least I thought he did. I brought a friend of mine into the picture. What do you think she did? She was quite large and undesirable, if I do say so myself. She had sex with Bob and made a pass for Joey. I took the girl out of the picture. How? Never mind that one. A drama queen never reveals her secrets, because she truly has none. They are shouted from the roof tops. Alyssa entered. I was betrayed and left for someone who was less prettier than I am…

I knew she was trouble from the beginning. I said to myself she’s going to go for Joey. What happened a couple of weeks later? They’re holding hands. I was seething with rage. Did she not understand that I had property claims on this guy? I wanted to shout, yell, scream, cry, what fucking ever.

The drama queen remains silent. And you will be the only ones to know what has happened, and in the future what will happen… Enjoy… My life is a soap opera. The world is my stage. And my acquaintances are my publicity. What was it that Madonna said? I believe it was any publicity is good publicity…