Where do I even begin?

Me and Dom stopped talknig for awhile and I suppose that somewhere along the way I fell in love. I thought that I would never take another chance on someone again, especially after Mr. Wrong and Robert. But, I did. And I am still taking that chance. We are now very much together. it's crazy to say this but I have never really had sex with someone that meant something to me. We'll see where this all goes...

Everything unfolds...

I had the wrong email address. This guy scares me and he makes me feel vulnerable. I've liked him for a year and nothing has been able to happen. He makes me feel like I could want a guy again and learn to trust him. Not just meet a guy and trust him from the very beginning. What can I say? I can be a silly girl, if not a completely stupid one.

I've changed so much. I'm not as dramatic as I used to be. I've simmered down a bit. Would I wait for this guy until the time is right, where it can happen? I don't know. He'd have to ask me and then I'd have to know what I'm waiting for. I just know I will never allow another guy to ever treat me as I've been treated before. What shall we name this guy? I think we will call him Dom.

Dom reminds me of Robert, except he wants to change. Robert is out there getting loaded all over again. Five months ago it made me sad, but it also made me realize that I had completely let him go. I just didn't care anymore.

Sometimes when someone hurts you enough, after awhile, you feel nothing. You eventually get over the pain, the tears, the heartache, and you're just tired. Exhausted. I was sick of trying to make something work that had died. I woke up one day and realized he's never going to care about me the way I deserve. I can't make him. He will always want to be with the mother of his child. I can't change that. And that's okay. I don't want to change it. I just don't care...

Mr. Wrong and Alyssa had their baby. He's a beautiful baby. I don't hate them anymore either. I just don't. I realized hating them took time out of my busy life. They were living their lives, happily, not knowing I hated them. Alyssa's stressed out because she thinks he's cheating. No matter how much he denies it she won't let go of that notion. I didn't tell her this, but ofcourse he's cheating on her. It's what he does.

I'm going to school so that I can work in the medical field. It's a bottom position. But, if there's anything I've learned this year is it's okay to start with nothing. It's okay to start from the bottom and work your way back up. I'm broke most of the time. For God's sake, I clean houses when I'm not in school. Can I tell you a secret? I'm the happiest I've ever been. I never thought I'd say this. But, material things don't make me happy. I have real friends today. I love my life despite my own bullshit. I'M FUCKING HAPPY AGAIN...

I haven't

Wrote anything in a very long time. I've been so very busy lately, just trying to figure out this thing called life. In any event, I am very stressed out about a situation right now. Remember I wrote about a guy I couldn't have in my last entry? Well, he gave me his email address. I wrote him yesterday. It shows that he opened the email. I am just afraid that he didn't read it and that someone else from his program did. I'm afraid he's in trouble. Anyway, I guess I won't ever know... Sooner or later I will. It's killing me. I hate waiting to know something. I suppose the accurate thing to say is I hate not being in the know. I should post more from now on. I'm not sure if anyone even reads this anymore. Doubtful. I think this is more for me now...