Being thrown into the Ocean is not my cup of tea

It really isn't. Jason and I had a spat of sorts on Friday. It was more as if we had come to a stand still. I decided to avoid him, that he just wasn't worth my time in any capacity. In any event, some of my friends were going to go to the beach on Sunday. I wasn't going to go. Then I realized how stupid it would be not to just because of him. I avoided him even though he saw me right away. I went towards the water with just the intention of putting my feet in the water. I saw him approach me. I turned towards the water.

I didn't hear anything at all. For a moment I wondered where he had gone. Well, I most deffinitely figured out where he had gone to when I felt myself being lifted off of the ground. Jason had picked me up and was carrying me towards the water. Ofcourse I was screaming numerous curses at him. Everyone was looking at us. I am quite used to it, and apparently by what Jason said so is he. He turns to the people who are watching us and says "Don't worry... This happens all the time..."

We flirted a bit throughout the day. I was even more confused then ever. But, I've decided I will flirt with him when I want to. I will leave him alone when I feel like it. I suppose that whatever happens happens. There's only one flaw in this plan. Lately I don't want to leave him alone. Tonight everyone is going to be there. I've invited Rashelle along, naturally. I do always need an opinion of another professional drama queen...

By, the way, I saw Joey for the first time in two weeks the other day. There were no feelings there at all. I was just happy to see my friend. I know I'm over him and have moved on to Jason. I just hope Jason isn't another disaster waiting to happen, or at least another dramatic scene. Oh, wait, my entire life is a dramatic scene. Rashelle likes to called it my personal Soap Opera. I love it. I truly do...

It's an upside down world...

It must be an alternate Universe I've arrive at if Alyssa and I text each other every day, constantly meeting up for coffee and dishing about the men in our lives. I even now hang out with Joey, and feel much less animosity towards him. And, you definitely know it's an Upside down World if Jessica and I are barely speaking and Lea and I have kissed and made up.

I've left home to start a life on my own. It's amazing how in one night everything in your life can change, and whatever is left of it is completely unrecognizable. Someone close to me thought that while I was forced to concentrate on what mattered my dramatic nature would be completely left behind. That, I must tell you, is not entirely true.

I have left Joey and Alyssa completely alone. When I was on vacation with Alyssa I realized how much she truly cared about him. If I didn't make him happy, or give him what he truly needed, did he not deserve to find it with someone else? Letting go is never easy, but in order to live again it is necessary. Living from and in the past is so unhealthy. Then there's this other guy. Jason is something else entirely...

I think I may have found my match where he is concerned. He's extremely good looking has a great job, prospects, comes from a well rounded family, and his intelligence rivals mine. When you meet someone of his nature you're either with him or against him. From the moment we met about two months ago a series of sarcastic quips and flirtation ensued. The only problem is he might beat me at my own game. I suppose one would be accurate in saying he's the Valmont or Casanova of our group. I can tell you for the first time I have absolutely no clue with this one. It's all hearsay at this point...

I may make the biggest mistake with Jason and take a genuine chance on him. I don't believe I have ever taken a genuine chance with someone in my life. One may argue and say I did with Joey, but not really. I could never bring myself to tell him the true nature of my feelings and act in an according manner. Isn't life about going after what you want? If it turns out to be a mistake, then I will learn from it. At least I will be taking a chance.

He's an enigma to me. He's a walking contradiction. There's something about him that makes me feel calm and secure, then there's something about him that makes me question everything. I completely trip over my words around him, as well as myself. It's quite embarrassing to say the least. We shall all see where this one goes...