I've made a decision...

And I'm sticking to it. I've decided to take my sponsor's direction and go on a 60 day man restriction. Jasmine's sister talked to Mr. Wrong on Monday. He told her that he wasn't lieing if he told any girl he liked her. He just didn't want to hurt her, because all he wanted was to get laid. Him and I talked last night. He said he meant everything he said to me on Friday, but that he's not in any place to be in a relationship. He has nothing to offer anyone at this point. We both agreed on all of this.

I ofcourse had to hurt myself a step further and ask how he felt about Alyssa. He said he didn't know, but that he wasn't fucking her yet. I think he wants to, though. I found out she left Joey for him, so she could fuck around with him. What a whore. He said it bothers him that she flirts with alot of guys. I asked him if he'd ever want to be with her when he was ready to be in a relationship. He once again didn't know. Then I asked him if one day he'd want to be with me. Mr. Wrong told me he didn't know. It felt like a knife going through my heart because I realize the extent of how powerless I am over this situation.

I am just worried that Alyssa will wedge her way into this no matter what I say or do at this point. But, I realize he probably will fuck her and I am powerless over that too. I doubt he'll have a meaningful relationship with her. And if he does it won't last as long as it did with Joey. I jut have to let go right now and realize if it's meant to be it will happen and if it isn't it won't... It sucks like that... But, that's life on life's terms for you...