I don't think that he knows that I know yet and still Mr. Wrong won't call me. Why do I care if he calls me or not? Why would I even want him to? Normal girls would never want to hear from him ever again. I think there's a part of me that needs to hear him say it because he hasn't. I need to hear him tell me how much of an asshole he really is, how he really did this to me, and how he's able to live with himself. I've heard all these other people say it, but not him.
Another part of me wants to hear that he really cares, and that she doesn't mean anything to him. If she didn't mean anything to him and I still meant so much to him one day after awhile I could forgive him and things could be okay, but they're not. Right now they are as far from okay as fucking possible.
I've come up with two reasons why he never called me back. He was with Alyssa that night and just didn't want to talk to me. He wants nothing to do with me and is letting me go. The other reason is he feels guilty, knows that I know, or at least knew that I was going to find out one way or the other. At this point I don't know if he is just a liar or a coward...
I have more repect for his brother, Robert, at this point. It's obvious he has a thing for me of sorts, if that's what you want to call it. But, he made it obvious that he didn't want to be with me and that he didn't want to get attached. His exact words were any woman between the ages of 18-40 was fair game. At least he put all the cards on the table.
What will I do if I see him tommorow? What will I say? What the fuck am I going to do if he shows up with Alyssa? I hate that bitch more than fucking anyone at this point in time. What if he ignores me or lets me ignore him? Oh, hell, what if he tries to talk to me? I don't know anything at this point in time...
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