And Baby Makes Three...

I suppose that no matter how you look at this situation a baby could not possibly make three. Let's look at all the parties involved shall we. First off there is my ex boyfriend Jeff. Then we have his current girlfriend Leeanna. It would be quite cruel of me to leave out her other boyfriend (that Jeff just found out about, by the way) out of this equation, don't you think? His name is Derek, incase anyone cares, not that I would expect them to...

Out of all my past lovers Jeffrey was by far the most pathetic. I take that back. Second most pathetic, I should say. He broke off our relationship the first time (out of one hundred) after two weeks because he loved me and I couldn't say it back. I thought he was simply going insane and thought good riddance. I've learned through our on again and definitely off again relationship that he is in love with every woman he ever dates. Give him about three days. That's enough time for him to write a love poem, a marriage proposal, oh and I can't possibly forget about how he scripted out the rest of our lives. And no, I'm not joking...

Jeff and Leeanna met at a party one night. He thought that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Mind you, every girl he ever meets is the "most beautiful girl he has ever seen." He couldn't understand why I wasn't surprised in the least bit when he claimed he was madly in love and had never felt this way before. This entire situation has been going on for about two months. He now wants to marry her. I of course thought he had simply lost his mind. It's doubtful I would marry someone even if I had known them for two years. Then he had the gall to ask me if I was jealous...

It's quite impossible to be jealous of someone who means so very little to you and has absolutely nothing you want. He of course was offended. I asked him if he could please get on with his story before I fell asleep on the phone. At that point I knew I could be more interested in some mindless thing either Jane or Alyssa were going on about. How truly horrifying!

Then he tells me something that causes the plot to thicken. It was something I hadn't heard from him yet. Leeanna was pregnant. There's a chance that he's the father. Derek could also be the father. Who knows? If she was stupid enough to sleep with Jeff it could very well be anyone's child. This is too good to miss.

I might some sense of pity for Jeff if he hadn't slept with the mindless woman in the first place. But, the part of this entire story that is too much for me to possibly fathom is the fact that he wants to be known as the child's father whether he really is or not. One may call him noble. In my expert opinion we may label him as an utter idiot. Let’s not forget the fact that he is only nineteen years old...