Things were so Weird last Night

I was so sick last night and Robert was acting strange. He would talk to me for a few seconds and then act as if I didn’t exist, as if he didn’t know me. The two of us were talking with Allen. He said he loved me, which caused Allen to raise his eyebrows in complete shock. Robert laughed.

“You love her,” questioned Allen in complete shock.

“No, I got love for her. You know the only person I love is my daughter…”

“Love will destroy someone,” I commented.

Robert looked somewhat impressed with my deduction. I knew he agreed. He looked at me for a moment.

“The two of us are talking…”

I smiled flirtatiously at Robert before walking away to allow them to discuss whatever it is they needed to talk about. It was all very strange. It was as if he wanted me around but at the same time wanted me to go as far away as humanly possible.

Jasmine said she thinks he’s trying to avoid me because he has feelings for me. I have feelings for him too, no matter what I want to think is true. But, it can’t go anywhere. It really can’t. As much as I have feelings… it’s just the last thing that either of us really need. Robert and Mr. Wrong know how to confuse a girl, twist her up from the inside out… They truly do…

By the end of the night I felt as if I was about to puke at the very least. I felt somewhat dizzy. It’s strange because I haven’t gotten sick in such a very long time. I hate it. I truly do. Someone make it go away. It sucks. Before I left Robert came up to me…

“You’re leaving without saying goodbye?”

“I’m not feeling well, so I am going to go home…”

“Okay…”

“Alright, I’ll see you.” I began to walk away from him.

“You’re not going to give me a hug goodbye?”

“I’m getting sick. I don’t want you to catch it…”

“Who cares?”

He gave me a tight hug as usual and I couldn’t help but smile, as I usually do when he hugs me. I realize I am way over my head with the both of them. What do I think I am doing?

I mean, have I even thought about what will happen when they are both in the same location, supposing that that ever happens? I’m sure I have, once or twice. But, what will be, will be. Alyssa told me that. How fucking funny is that?

What would I do without Nelly, who always shows and tells me how to live? She’s had to put up with all my dramatic antics. Poor girl. What am I saying? I believe she rather enjoys it all…