But, I don’t want to. I’ve talked to so many people today about Mr. Wrong and Robert. People have all told me all kinds of different things. It seems as if all I can do today is talk about them, blog about them, oh and when I smoke I’m even thinking about them. What the hell is wrong with me?
I shouldn’t torture myself to this extent with thoughts of them. Why do I do this to myself? I could do so much better than either one of them. I really could. I could have done better than Joey too. Did I ever tell you that Joey and Mr. Wrong were in jail together at one point in time? I probably did, but even if I didn’t I wanted to write it again. Most of the men in my life have one thing in common. They are all losers that I care about way too much for my own good.
What it comes down to is he has two months clean. He doesn’t know what he wants. Robert has how many more days? Maybe 15? I don’t know. All I know is neither one of them are going to want a relationship with anyone right now. I’m sure I could get laid out of this, but if I’m to stop lying to myself, I want so much more than sex…
Sex is the easiest thing in the world to get, it really is. But, then again, being rather attractive has never let me down on that level. I’m going to get somewhat personal here, but it’s hard for me to have an orgasm. The guy really has to know what the fuck he is doing. It’s so sad that most men these days just don’t…
I finally got honest with my sponsor and told her that I saw Mr. Wrong. She was less than thrilled to put it nicely. Well, okay, I didn’t tell her I saw Mr. Wrong. I told her I was interested in someone in rehab and that he had about two months clean? I’m apparently on man restriction. I don’t know how to do that. I’ve never done it before.
It probably would be the best idea to stay away from Mr. Wrong and Robert for two months. In fact it sounds like the best one I have heard in forever. I’m just afraid that if I don’t see him then he’ll choose someone else. And just the thought of that happening almost kills me…
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1 comment:
I know how you feel. You want to get away from them, because you know you could find someone better; someone who's decently perfect, but they're stuck on you like a piece of tape and you don't have the strength to pull it off.
Boys.
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