I'm letting go...

I've come to a place in my life where I realize I can't have either Mr. Wrong or Robert. So, as of this moment I am going to leave the both of them alone. Neither one of them are in a place as of now to give me what I want or deserve. And if they can't give me either of those two things what is the point? I realize flirting with the both of them is playing with fire to the greatest degree. All I am going to do in the end is get hurt. I don't want to get hurt, you know? I don't want what happened with Mr. Unmentionable to happen. All of that occured about a year ago...

I put so much emotional energy into him. I really thought that he was what I wanted. I was willing to put it all on the line for him. I never once stopped to think about him. Was he going to do the same? Would he care about me in the same capacity that I was going to care about me in the same fashion? Did he want what I wanted, or was I going to have to be forced to settle for what he wanted, instead of what I deserved, because he was unwilling to give me those things? To tell you the truth I never once thought about any of those things.

I suppose it's the here and now that counts. I'm thinking about those things now. I'm thinking about what will happen in the future. I am going to take my sponsor's suggestion and go on a 60 day man restriction. Holy shit. Can I actually do it? Well, we're all about to find out. Stay tuned. Shit's about to go down around here